Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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