i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
