his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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