In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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