so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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