i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
