he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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