She is in my trunk
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
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