I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
