Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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