Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
