I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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