You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
my poor anus
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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