Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
