I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you had me at cake vodka
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
