I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
