We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
