apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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