Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
