does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
