your room smells of hookers.
And success
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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