I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
