I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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