Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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