in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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