My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
