So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
