she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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