please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
