it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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