Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
