let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
