When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
is it fun? or sober?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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