Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
