whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
