I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
