So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
