What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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