I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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