My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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