I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
