My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You can't motorboat a personality
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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