scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
