Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
