....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
