I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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