i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
