yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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