i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
