That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
