Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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