yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
