I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
