It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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