I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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