I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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