One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this boner is exhausting
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
