He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
