you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize