I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
