HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
