If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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