Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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