all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
