I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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