we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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